The biggest way to improve the fic rapidly is to “show don’t tell.” In this case I mean abandoning use of the Author’s notes to describe characters or settings and simply state them in the third person. I believe with a bit more description, the audience would be able to follow the action even if you replace the :Interruptions: with simple scene breaks.

I like the use of English terms for the Techniques, but I suggest capitalizing them in the future. Also this makes the use of “Hai” instead of “Sir” or “Yes” or even “at your command” jarring.

As far as characterization goes, I have this to offer: keep Naruto’s personality similar, but think about how the gender-swap would effect Naruto’s relationships with the main characters. Do she and Sakura have a fierce rivalry that propels them both to greater heights? Does Naru hate or like Sasuke? Will this make Jiraya horribly uncomfortable with his books while training Naru?

You’ve got a good start and I’ll keep an eye on this and other fics you might make. Simply having Speeling, grammar, and a coherent plot put you above 50% of the fanfics out there. I hope you can rise higher.

Oh and remember that Naru’s a 13 year old right now, If this gets into any…Uncomfortable areas I’m going to have to stop reading.

Good Luck!